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Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships, by Jack Rinella
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Is it possible to form lasting, healthy, loving relationships that are based on power, control and pain? Of course it is -- if you approach it with common sense, care and affection. Respected scene leader Jack Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into the lives of real people of all genders and orientations. From that research, and his own two decades as a an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work. You'll learn how to decide what you want from a relationship, find partners, distinguish between fantasy and reality, negotiate agreements to accommodate your changing needs and desires, resolve conflicts, and much more.
- Sales Rank: #1352782 in Books
- Published on: 2015-02-25
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: .41" h x 6.10" w x 9.00" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 181 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
One major qualm...
By Jessica M. Warters
The book over all is fantastic, but I find it to be missing, or perhaps denying one rather large classification under "The Archetypes of SM Relationships". The chapter mentions Daddy/boy relationships but fails to mention anything about Daddy/girl relationships. I understand that there is a limited space in a book, but that is a really key piece of information in my opinion.
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful Thoughts
By Todd Hawley
Throughout this book, I found myself agreeing with a lot of what Jack has to say. His words resonate with my philosophies about BDSM. As some of you know, he has a weekly email column called "Leather Views" and reading this book in some ways is like an extended version of one of his column. His writing is always entertaining and usually thought-provoking, as is this book.
Since this book applies to leather relationships, most chapters are devoted to topics relating to these kinds of relationships. From the beginning chapter on "leather vocabulary," to the chapter called "Archetypes of SM relationships," to chapters on "knowing yourself" and "knowing what you want" in a SM partner. And he devotes a separate chapter to looking for partners. There's a lot of advice he offers that a lot of us don't always follow but should. There are also chapters that discuss the pros and cons of monogamy versus polygamy, the concept of "clubs" and "leather families," and relationship problems (he calls them "elephants in the room").
Jack offers his thoughts in a well thought out manner and raises points all of us in SM relationships should consider either before we enter into one or how to deal with issues once we are in one. An excellent book overall.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
good relationship book
By TammyJo Eckhart
First, let be honest upfront -- I looked over this book while it was being written and the concerns I raised then were dealt with by the author so I have nothing negative to say about this book.
This book, like all of Rinella's books thus far, is supposed to make you think; it is not a how-to. He looks briefly at the history of kink, focuses on the community itself, then really gets to his goal: healthy relationships that are kinky. The advice is realistic and honest. It reassuring for many of us to known that a well respected and well-known gay leatherman of the last decade and a half has seen ups and downs in his own relationships and those of others around him. Doing Ds does not have to be just a fantasy nor does it mean living up to an ideal; it means embracing your desires and needs together as partners regardless of the role.
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